30 Feet Ka Saap

Santa: Aaj TV pe 30 feet ka saap dikhane wale hai.
Banta: Haa par mai nahi dekh paunga.
Santa: kyu?
Banta: mera TV toh 21 inch ka hi hai.

Beti Badi Ho Kar Kya Karogi?

Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?
Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?
Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.

Devdas Ne Khilaya Paro Ko Paan

Bhehar ki gali main paan ki dukan,

Devdas ne dekhi Paro Ki muskan,

Devdas ne khilaya paro ko paan,

Khake paan Paro bolo"Shukriya Bhai Jan

Aurat Ki Aadhi Zindegi

Kisi Mahaan Hasti Ne Kaha Hai:

Aurat Ki Aadhi Zindagi Husband Ki Talash Me

Aur Baqi Aadhi Us Ki Talaashi Mei Guzar Jati Hai.

School Jana Kaisa Laga

Pita: Beta Apko School Jana Kaisa Laga? 
Beta: Schl Jna Achchha Laga Aur Schl Se Lautna Bhi Achchha Laga. Bas Beech Ka Samay Hi Achchha Nahi Lagta

Hont Se Hont Mile To Kya Hota HAI

Hont se hont milte hain tu kya hOta hai??
?
?
?
?
socho??
?
?
nai pata?
???
?
?
uff
kitna ganda sochte ho kuch nai bus moo band hota hai

Santa To Jeeto

Santa: raat paros wali larki mere dream main ayi thi

Jeeto: Acha? phir akeli he ayi ho gi
Santa: (Hairan ho ke) haan akeli thi lekin tumhain kese pata?
Jeeto: kyon ke us ka husband mere dream main aya hua tha

A Policeman To His Son

A policeman to his son : Tumhara result aacha nahi aaya.
Aaj se tumhara khelna aur TV dekhna band.
Beta : Ye 50 rupay pakdo aur ess baat ko yaheen dabado

Romantic Maat Bano

Agar raat ko koi Aapke kamre me Aaye,
Tumhare Badan ko chume,
Gaalo ko kiss kare,
toh Romantic maat bano,
.
.
.
.
“MOSPEL” lagao MACHHAR BHAGAO…

A Punjabi Bra Advertisement

A Punjabi Bra Advertisement

Har kudi di pehli pasand,
*PREETO BRA*
Hun sizan wich-
.Small.
.Medium.
.Large.
.Oye hoye.
.Hai o rabba
.Oh Teri Behn di

Ab To Naha Lo

Suno!
Mehsoos karo,
Badal ki Garaj,
Bijli ki chamak,
Barish ki ek ek bond,
Tum se Cheekh cheekh kar
Keh rahi hai,
**Ab toh naha lo**

Santa- Banta Jokes- Detergent Se Nahale

Santa: Yaar maine naye detergent se apni shirt dhoyi aur woh chhoti ho gayi, ab kya karun?
Banta: Usi detergent se ek baar khud naha le…

Beizzati Aur Bivi

“Beizzati”
Aur
“Bivi”
Ek Jaisi Hoti Hai…
Acchii Tab Hi Lagti Hai..
Jab Doosre Ki Ho…!!

Ammi Se Unchi Awaaz Mein Baat Ki

Baap:
Tum ne apni ammi se unchi awaz mein bat ki?
Beta:
Mujhe pata hai k apko jalan ho rahi hai
Baap:
Woh kese?
Beta
Q k aap aisa ker nahi sakte…

Ladkiyan Badal Jaati Hai Ladke Nahin Badaltey

Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey

Pass Kya Munna Bhai Karwae Ga

Lamha Lamha Waqt Guzar Jayega,

Chand Lamhon Men Exam Sar Pe Ajayega,

Abhi Bhi Waqt Hai Do Line Padh Lo,

Warna Paas Kia Munna Bhai Karwae Ga

Girl To Boy

Girl to boy: Tum larkay kisi larki mei
sub se pehlay kia daikhte ho ?
Boy: Yeh tou depend karta hai k
larki aa rahi hay ya ja rahi hai …:p
`

Garnier Fructies

Mere Haath Ka Bana Cake Zara Chakhna

Wah Wah
Mere Haath Ka Bana Cake Zara Chakhna
GARNIER FRUCTIS.. Apna Khayaal Rakna

Kya Tum Naha Nahi Sakte?

Hame malum hai k aap hame bhul nahi sakte,
Lekin pas b hamare aa nahi sakte,
yahan tak aa rahi hai tere BADAN ki BADBU,
Kya Tum NAHA NAHI SAKTE??

SMS Forward

Santa To Banta:

oye tu her SMS mujhey do bar q bhejta hay?
Banta:
vo is lia k ager tujhe ek forward karna ho tuo doosra tere paas
rehna chaiye na

Dost Ki Death

Santa:- Abe Banta tu yaha baitha hai…
Tere dost ki death ho gai hai… Tu gaya Kyu Nahi????
Banta:- Uss saale ne mujhe bulaya hi nahi

Chappal Se Piteyga

Boy : Jan-e-man!
Totay howay dil se pyaar karogi
ya
dil tootnay tak pyaar karogi?
Girl : Kameenay!
Tuti hoi chappal say pitay ga
ya
chappal tootnay tak pitega.

Mallika Sherawat Ki Laundry Bill

Income Tax Officer Hans Raha Tha.
Clerk Kya Hua?
Officer Mallika Sheravat Ki File Hai.
Clerk To?
Officer Kapde Pehenti Nahi Aur Laundry Bill 11lakh Bataya Hai.

Dil Chahta Hai

Kabhi Kabhi Dil Chahta Hai Kuch Asia Ho Jaye..
Papers Ho Par Result Na Aye..
Class Ho Par Teacher Na Aye..
Bus Mein Baithe Par College Na Jaye…
Picnic Per Jaye Ur Wapas Na Ayein..
Hafte Mein 3 Din Ho Or Phir Sunday Ajaye…
Sote Rahe Din Bhar…Sham Ko Ghumne Jaye..
Hum Bilkul Na Parhe Ur Pass Ho Jaye..
Sab Dost Sath Rahe Or Chuttiyan Manae…

Bhabhi Ka Naam

Admi: Bhabhi ka kya naam hai?
Husband: Google !!!
Admi: Yeh kesa naam hai?
Husband: Sawaal aik karo, jawab 100 miltay hain:-D

Patient To Doctor

Patient to Doc: Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hai, uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hu, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.

Nature Of Mohabbat

Mohabbat 1 bar ho jaye us ko bholapan kehtay hain,

2 bar ho jaye us ko dewaanapan kehtay hain,

3 bar hoo jaye us ko pagalpan kehtay hain,

agar phir bhi na rukhay to use kameenapan kehtay hai

Baccha To Doob Jayega

Child:papa aunty ka pait kion phola hai?
Father:tujhey sub pata hai!
Child: nahin pata promise!
Father: in k pait main pani bhara hay
CHILD:Oh No! Bacha to doob jaye ga!

Saalo Ka Tazurba

job interview me puchha gya: Apko kitne saalo ka tazurba h?
MAN: Sir, maaf krna, maine saalo ko to 'Try' nhi kiya lekin muje 3 saliyo ka tzurba hai

Basanti Kutto Ke Samne Nahi Nachti

She is Basanti
@
<@>
JL

@
<@>
JL

@
<@>
JL

@
<@>
JL

@
<@>
JL

@
<@>
JL

she will Not dance.Coz Basanti kutto ke
samne nahi nachti....

Goal

Santa and Banta in a football stadium..

Santa : Paaji, yeh log ball se kya kar rahe hain?
Banta : goal kar rahe hain!!!
Santa :”lekin paaji ball toh pehle se gol hain , aur kitni gol
Karenge?”

Hor Soniya Ki Haal Hai

Santa (Ladki ko chedte hue): Hor soniya ki haal hai…??
Ladki (gusse me) boli: Jo teri behn ka hai.
Santa (hans kar): Woh to pregnant hai!!!

Lagta Hai Pahunch Gai

Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar kar ke,
Ghar ja raha tha ke achanak bijli, Chamki, Badal garje,
Zor se barish(rain) shuru hoi,
Aadmi bola lagta hai pahunch gai.

Mohammad SinghAggarwal

After Death goes heaven,
God=Bol kya chahiye?
=Muze sonni kuddi dila do,
God= Dila dunga,,
Aagr tu Muslim hai to KATRINA..
Agar Baniya hai to YANA..
Aur Agar Punjabi hai to KAREENA,,
Bol tera naam kya hai..??
Mohammad Singh Aggarwal

Apna Baccha

Quiz me final sawaal poocha gya?
“tum kisi bhot beautiful larki k andar kia dekhna pasand krte ho???”
.
.
Award winning answr:
“Apna BACHHA”!

Which Is Better?

Santa:- ‘Which is better?
Google or Yahoo..?’
.
..
.
..
.
..
.
..
.
..
.
..
.
?
Banta- ‘Oh wait.I’ll search it on
Google’…

Population Slogan

Population slogan in Bihar: Hum Do Hamare Do,

Unke Baad Jitne Bhi Hon, Sabko Punjab aur Haryana bhej do

Jija- Sali SMS Jokes

Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!

Wife Ko Begum Kyon Kehte Hain

Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?

Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or wife Be-Gum ho jaat hai.

Balance Low

Subha shaam teri Yaad aave hai,
Sari sari raat jagavey hai,
Karne ko to kar lu call tujhe,
Per kambakhat customer service ki larki balance low batavey hai,

Munna Bhai SMS Jokes

Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye...???

Circuit: simple bhai... Bina sui ka injection lene ka..! !

Santa- banta Funny SMS Jokes

Santa :-Yaar Banta Dr. ne kaha mujhe AIDS hai. Yeh AIDS hoti kya hai?

Banta Singh:-
A – Ab
I – Iss
D – Duniya se
S – Sat shri akal.

Chaddi Friend

Love Is Like A Pant
But Friendship
Is Like A Chaddi
Bcoz
Pant Phat Bhi Jaye To
Chaddi Izzat Bacha Leti Hai
So Thanx 4 Being My
Chaddi Friend…

Santa To Ladka

Santa class me haans raha tha,
Ek ladka bola : Stand UP, kaun ho tum?
Santa : Tum kaun ho?
Ladka : Mein monitor hu
Santa : Te phir mein CPU hu!!!

Funny Santa SMS

Santa Police se:
Kal rat chor mere ghar se
TV ke Ilaaava sab samaan le gaye
Police:TV kyon nahi legaya??
Santa:TV to me dekh raha tha is liye..

Lecture Kaisa Hona Chahiye?

Teacher to student Lecture kaisa hona chahiye?
Student Mini skirt jaisa, taaki jaruri topic cover bhi ho jaye aur sabka interest bhi bana rahe. . .

Har Ladki Ki Maa Apni Saas Lagti Hai

ab Jab hume pyaas lagti hai, 

Unke aane ki aas lagti hai
unki dewangi mein hum ho gaye itne dewane, 

Ki har ladki ki maa apni saas lagti hai

Maa Kaha Karo

Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.

Kitney Aadmi They

Jab Gabbar Singh ne janam Liya to,
Maa Use bahut maar rahi thi.
Nurse ne Puchha-kyu Maar Rahi ho.
Maa boli-Sala Puchta hai kitne Aadmi they.

Jhakkas Way To Propose

Boy:
Xcuse Me
Girl:
Jee Kahiye
Boy:
Mere Hone Wale Bacho Ki Taraf Se
Apko Happy Mother’s DAY….

Chamgadad

Ek black african girl ko god ne pankh de diye

khushi se boli-WoW! God kya ab mE pari ban gayi hu.

God:nhi pagli tu ab chamgadad ban gayi hai